Good Witch / Bad Witch » health

Subconscious Memory & the Lure of Alcohol

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 16:58:40 +0000

“Alcohol diminishes our ability to hold on to pieces of information like your colleague’s name, or the definition of a word, or where you parked your car this morning. But our subconscious is learning and remembering too, and alcohol may actually increase our capacity to learn, or ‘conditionability,’ at that level,” Dr. Morikawa in The Journal of Neuroscience. Read more.

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What’s jamming your juice in life? What emotion is hardest for you? Tell us what’s important to you, what you think about. How we can help you thrive—not just survive—modern life. Email us at: coaching@stillsitting.net.

Filed under: Advice, health, life, self-improvement Tagged: alcohol addiction, dopamine, memory, neuroscience, subconscious memory

The Real Clash: Stay or Should I Go?

goodwitchbadwitch — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 16:00:46 +0000

Burn outs are kinda cool in a hot rod. Not so much on the job. How to stay cooler. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — …career of 12 years…What constitutes “burn out”? How do you know if you are actually burned out and it would be wise to find a new course to pursue, or whether you just need a long vacation, and should stay put in the industry you spent so much time developing skills, contacts and your reputation in? — Path Trekker

Dear Path Trekker,

Check out what we told Miller Time about his job exhaustion.

As for what constitutes “job burn out,” as usual, I suggest you do review columns. This time, list all the things that first ignited, attracted and fueled you to and on your job. Second column, quickly jot all the things that frustrate you on the job and about your workplace. I’d rather you list emotions/feelings elicited than nit picky line items like “broken water cooler,” which may or may not translate as “dehydrated, listless and angry.” Half joking. Cross-check the two columns. This one is more a highly subjective look-see between the two columns to see which is: larger/longer, which items may be completely negated by something in the other column, and overall how each column makes you feel. Do this exercise again same time for the next four weeks. See if recognizing and shifting what you can has changed anything for you. Own what’s yours, weigh what you can’t control against your overall life needs and peace.

Meanwhile, a well-deserved, fun-filled (whatever that means to you) vacation away from the office is always a rejuvenating, reenergizing treat our culture doesn’t take as seriously as it should. Go expedia.com, orbitz.com, or Travelocity.com (among others) — do a staycation — but go forward, Path Trekker!

Stop and smell the rose essential oil,

BadWitch

Dear Path Trekker,

Follow the tickle. The question is what inspires you and leads you t wan to spend your time in the activity.

The truth is whatever you choose to do will, no doubt, use some of the very skills and contacts you have honed over all these years. Though, you may decide the field you are in no longer serves, skills are transferable.

To start, yes, schedule a vacation. Give yourself time from the pressures of everyday to get a read on whether you enjoy the duties and opportunities available to you in your everyday career. Then it’s time you play Blue Sky/

What would you do if there were no limits? If money, security, social pressure and guilt were taken out of the work/life/career equation, what would you do with your time for work, fun, joy?

The questions to such answers may be unrealistic when normal life circumstances are applied, but it will start to point you in the right direction. You will see more clearly where your interest lie.

The key is to rest up and give yourself the time and space to figure out how you feel and what you want.

Good luck,

GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Mondays money, work, purpose dilemmas. Thursdays family, relationships, love dramedy. Send your brewing questions on how to thrive—not just survive— modern life to: coaching@stillsitting.net.

Filed under: Advice, career, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, wellness Tagged: balance, career, emotions, happiness, health, life, purpose, responsibility, success, truth

Trust (BW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 15:23:16 +0000

Last week seemed extra long and was definitely hard for me. A beloved parent received shockingly sudden serious news from the doctor. I’m pretty far down the road of senior parent care, so in the midst of all the business and chaos (but even to my own surprise), this time I found that I had earned the luxury of being philosophical. And I thought a lot about “Trust” (my thoughts about its partner “Surrender”).

My general formula for Trust is that we all start out with 100% open trust in our psycho-emotional bank, then are debited the percentage of whatever happened to us in life by, say, age 5. If that sum is 50% or higher, we have a corresponding tendency to trust people and situations in life. If it’s 49% or below, we will commensurately see the world as a booby-trapped place fraught with ways to be hurt or worse, disappointed. Leave room for gradations of gray on both sides. Then from a strictly legal definition, a “Trust” means: A relationship created at the direction of an individual, in which one or more persons hold the individual’s property subject to certain duties to use and protect it for the benefit of others. And there you have it. It obviously behooves us to have the most Trust possible. To have Trust in life, is for one’s own benefit, and the benefit of those in her/his life.

This city girl grew up with the benefit of a high Trust quotient. I strive to share that wealth with anyone around me who will listen. I believe the killer of Trust is not hurt, but the kind of disappointment that turns into cynicism. I’m choosing to trust that, after the things that we can and are doing something about, the rest is exactly as it was always meant to be. I trust my Mother Knows Best for herself and that this path is strewn with petals of lessons up and down, which can be trampled angrily on or admired for their fragrance and color. I trust that (especially in being so alike) she will always be my greatest teacher no matter where either of us is on our journeys.

What’s your trust quotient? Even if it’s high, how do you raise it daily? I trust, if you’re a reader of this blog, you likely do. — BadWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality Tagged: cynicism, disappointment, hurt, psycho-emotional, surrender, trust, trust quotient

Formerly Pregnant Faces Fertility Challenge

goodwitchbadwitch — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 16:39:15 +0000

There’s a theory that borders on fact, that replicating success is easier once you’ve achieved a thing. What to do when you can’t conceive child number two? — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — I got pregnant very quickly with my first child. We are now hoping to have a second child, but I haven’t gotten pregnant after six months of trying. Why am I experiencing fertility challenges this time around? — Former Fertile Myrtle

Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

That 20% of American couples share your experience, likely gave rise to naming the phenomenon: secondary infertility. While some issues are the same as with primary infertility, secondary has its own including that health care providers don’t tend to pay as much attention (or insurance money) to it, relatives and friends can be less aware of it and may appear lesser concerned, and your own emotions may be projected at those for whom it appears expanding their family is easy and breezy.

Reasons for secondary infertility can echo those of primary, and include the lessening fertility of men (sperm motility to ED) and women (fertility or miscarriage) as they age. So, to see a professional or not? I say if the financial resources and time (all IVF is extremely time consuming and protracted. Your job and other life time-off considerations should be carefully measured beforehand) are available and are in balance with desire to grow your family, then yes. Go find out if your situation is, in fact, secondary infertility or a temporary blip of some other (unconsidered) kind. All I know for sure is that when I want something hyper strongly, I’m not known for my saintly patience and this stress undoubtedly affects my physiology.

Above all, love the family you have,

BadWitch

Dear Former Fertile Myrtle,

Secondary infertility can happen for a variety of reasons. Quite often falling into the medical category of unexplained infertility.

Some basic biological issues (like age) or post-baby lifestyle changes (like taking up marathon running or pot smoking) can interfere with pregnancy. Of course, one of the most likely culprits is stress. Stress puts the body on high alert—fight or flight mode. In this state the body severely reduces “on line” status of any body functions not necessary for speedy fight or flight. This means digestion and reproduction are “off line” when we are stressed. Blood flow is restricted. Nutrient supply diminished.

Try some stress relief tactics that can help you focus your energies toward self-care and your goals of pregnancy, like fertility yoga, acupuncture for fertility and fertility stress management and support groups. Now is the time to learn to meditate. Now is the time to add more greens and folates to your diet. Now is the time to assess how you are expending your precious energies and where those energies need to be realigned to support your healthy, glowing body function and your goal of a second child.

Also, discuss the issue with your GYN or a fertility specialist.

And remember, sometimes the challenges placed in our paths to achieve our goal is exactly the training we need to be successful after achieving our goal. Trust. Believe and be good to you.

Blessings,

GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, health, life, Life coaching Tagged: fertility, IVF, pregnant

Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (inspiration)

goodwitchbadwitch — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 16:48:35 +0000

“He who angers you conquers you.” ~Elizabeth Kenny

“Anger is one letter short of danger.”~Anon

“To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.”~ William H Walton

“People often grudge others what they cannot enjoy themselves.”~Aesop

“Life is too short to hold a grudge, also too long.”~Robert Brault

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Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: anger, balance, forgiveness, grudges, happiness, health, heart center, life, love, skills

Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (BW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 17:13:24 +0000

Of all things not to hold close to one’s heart most especially, a grudge would be in the top two. Sustained anger is the emotion that turns into resentment and bitterness. Negative emotions produce chaotic heart rhythms, which negatively impact the rest of the body’s systems. Studies show that for every five (5) minutes of anger you feel, your body’s immune system drops in effectiveness for 12 hours. Conversely, five minutes of happiness and love you feel does the same in the positive for your body and its systems.

Allowing yourself persistent feelings of resentment and grudges holds you in the past, eats away at you, and lessens your availability to better options and events in the present. Grudges make you less whole, and lesser than. Don’t bring your grudge’s bitterness and anger from the past that’s gone forever, into all your relationships today and tomorrow. Forgiveness is first a choice, and then a process of commitment. You must want to change and grow. When you do, then you can. Next, work on you(r) will. — BadWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: anger, bitterness, chaotic heart rhythm, forgiveness, grow, grudges, heart center, immune system, resentment, the past

Grudges: Do You Hold Them? (GW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 16:58:26 +0000

What’s the point! You hold a grudge, reminding yourself over and over again to release cortisol into your system, send acid churning in your stomach and raise your heart rate and blood pressure through the roof because this person hurt you. At what point is this suppose to actually hurt the other person?

Want to know what can really hurt the other person? Obscurity. Loss of Interest. That’s right, just like I’d tell my child on the playground if another child is not playing nice, walk away. Life is too short for grudges. It only leads o stuck energy, acid reflux and migraines. Juust kick em to the curb and move on. You will be all the happier and wiser for it. — GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, self-improvement, wellness Tagged: grudges, loss of interest, obscurity, playing nice

Importance of Play. The Gravitas of Levity. (inspiration)

goodwitchbadwitch — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 17:21:10 +0000

“The burden of the self is lightened with I laugh at myself.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.” ~ Woody Allen

“I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

“When I die, just keep playing the records.” ~ Jimi Hendrix

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Filed under: Advice, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: Audrey Hepburn, gravitas, Jimi Hendrix, laugh, levity, lighten up, play, play important, Woody Allen

Pushy Wannabe Grandma, “Pregnancy Now!”

goodwitchbadwitch — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 16:48:43 +0000

Tick tock!, she don’t stop. If you wait, will it be too late? When moms pushes you to make her a granny now. — BadWitch

Readers Are Spellbound & Perplexed…

Dear GWBW — As a single woman in her mid thirties, my mother keeps warning me that if I wait even a day longer to have children, she will never be a grandmother. To what extent is this true or untrue? What should I do to ensure that I have the option for motherhood in the future? — Pregnant Pause

Dear Pregnant Pause,

Firstly, I can’t think of too many choices in this world more important than whether or not to have children…except maybe when to have them. With all due respect to your mother, she’s already had her time as one, it’s now completely up to you as to if and when to you will become one. Own that fact, exemplify that feeling.

As to when, if you’re healthy, fertile and want a family, make Pros and Cons lists if you need help with more clarity. Obvious considerations include your health, wealth, practical and strategic career accounts (day-to-day childcare options versus your availability to remain work-relevant and competitive), and the often under-considered urges/desires and assumptions/notions you may or may not have about your “family.” Siblings to trusted spiritual leaders may help with this last one.

Future options protection? Here’s one idea if you can swing the finances (I’m sorry I didn’t grab the link when I recently heard about a young woman’s brilliant and controversial plan!). She knows she wants kids ultimately, but not while she’s competing and building her equally important career. She had her own eggs harvested and frozen for IVF when she is ready for motherhood. Dissenting religious beliefs completely respected and aside, I have to tell you that I didn’t understand why this was a “news” story in this day and age, except for suggesting that many people in our society still don’t actually “family plan,” or may have some misunderstandings about the challenging but viable IVF process.

Far more important than making your mother vicariously happy, please make sure you are happy about your own parenting status by deeply researching and considering all the options available to you specifically.

Gestate on that,

BadWitch

Dear Pregnant Pause,

More and more women are waiting to start a family. This is not the 50’s anymore—where women marry straight out of high school or go to college to find a husband and then hit fast forward on the family planning.

That being said, age can affect fertility. A woman is born with all the eggs she will have in her life. These eggs age as we do, sometimes forming a hard outer shell, which can keep sperm from penetrating the egg. So what does this mean?

It means that you may have issues getting pregnant without assistance as you start to age past late thirties. However, reproductive endocrinology (yes, the science of test tube babies) has come a long way. Single women, same sex couples and fertility challenged heterosexual couples are making their family dreams a reality through IVF (in-vitro fertilization). In other words, though the science is not fail-proof, success rates show it is a viable option.

So, though your mom is ready for grandkids right this moment, do what is right for you. You can start with a conversation with your OB/GYN and perhaps a consultation with a well-respected reproductive endocrinologist to determine if there are any other issues besides age, which may be a fertility challenge for you.

Sadly, in the world of fertility, age does matter. And, yes, being called “older” at 40 may be one of the more annoying side-effects, but know that you may yet have a child in a few years. I had my first child at 33 and my second at 36. So, apparently my mid-thirties were quite fertile. Does that mean I’m done at 44-not necessarily. Egg donation is also an option, as is adoption. In other words, if you want a family, there are ways and means. Don’t step on the gas now to make someone else happy, because it’s you that have the responsibility for growing a responsible member of society for the following 18 years—at least.

Be happy where you are and know your options and opportunities for the future,

GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, family, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, love, relationships, self-improvement Tagged: biological clock, motherhood, pregnancy, pushy grandma, putting off pregnancy

Importance of Play. The Gravitas of Levity. (GW)

goodwitchbadwitch — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:57:55 +0000

Who can say more about the importance of play! PLAY! It’s vital for children to learn, according to researchers and child psychologists. But what they fail to realize is the importance for adults. Play allows you to refill your energetic tank so you can have the wherewithal to do all the responsibility and care-taking things you do.

Play, laugh, sing: three necessary components for freeing up your spirit and restocking the energetic shelves. Doesn’t matter if you laugh so hard you snort or sing off key. What matters is that you have fun!

Lighten up people! This serious-all-the-time thing is just not good for you. Let your spirit be free. Just for a minute. You’ll feel better. — GoodWitch

Juicy Relationship Coaching for Leaders and Individuals.

Filed under: Advice, de-stress, happiness, health, life, Life coaching, self-improvement, spirituality, wellness Tagged: development, fun, gravitas, importance of play, laughter, levity